Friday, September 13, 2013

Am I conventional ?

Loneliness and Depression once again hit me. It is as simple as Elizabeth Gilbert put it in her book ' Eat, Love and Pray' “ He [Depression] just gives me that dark smile, settles into my favorite chair, puts his feet on my table and lights a cigar, filling the place with his awful smoke. Loneliness watches and sighs, then climbs into my bed and pulls the covers over himself, fully dressed, shoes and all. He's going to make me sleep with him again tonight, I just know it.”


But I decided to knock them down with my new found hobby – eating, especially salads. I went to a posh restaurant and ordered a veg wrap, salad and love bytes ( not because of its romantic name but because of its components. It's chocolate, supposed to be good for reducing tension. When I reached there, there were hardly any customers. I selected a corner from where I could savour my salad and enjoy the lake view. I decided not to think about the huge price tags on my eateries. I tried not to think about dad's rebuke. “You are wasting your money unnecessarily. You could have bought sufficient quantity of rice for a family .” But dad,  that rice would not suppress my depression and loneliness! I have even tried that. but only gained weight.



After a few minutes, two couples came and sat beside me. Maybe they too wanted to enjoy the Cochin lake view. Loneliness and depression were already there with their whip. I did not want to invite the third one – wanting for a soul mate. Hence I shifted my place thinking that I would enjoy the lake view next time. Then came two young students that made me forget my two companions for a while. The girl would not be more than 14 and boy might be 15.
After asking for the student's discount, they came and sat in a corner in such a way that I could not avoid looking at them. To my shock, as soon as they sat, they  started groping each other.

 Am I shell shocked ?
I should n't be.
But I am
And it worried me.

I am not a conservative, I could understand the urge of a human body. If I see some matured persons doing the same, I would have asked them  “ Guys, get a room” .

But I was just angry with this little girl and boy.

I could have easily passed off this incident as a mere sight thinking that time has changed. I was not able to. I am not conventional either.   It surprised me. My heart ached for the girl. I felt lucky that I have a younger brother and not a sister. It could have snatched my sleep until she marries. I felt lucky not to have entangled in such romantic encounters at a young age. I thanked my 'ego' which never let me stoop for a boy. I thanked my teachers who inculcated in me that girls are the best.

Am I yet to break that thread that connected with this so called ' conservatism', Is it wrong for a young girl and boy to indulge publicly in groping. What's wrong with me?

The only solace was that I was the only person in the restaurant who relished the food. My concentration was fully on it. Whereas for others, their minds were seeing ' dirty pictures'.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Little pleasures can make you a happy person

 
One of my friends shared me a link of blogadda asking to nominate my blog for the blogadda award.  With a hectic schedule around, I would not have given it a second thought.  Surprisingly, I had suffice time that day and I went for it.

Guess what? my blog got selected not for the award but for the competition. The blogadda has also opened two contests. One in travel writing and the other in the category of 'do it right' stories ( writing incidents or stories which have a message to convey). I applied for the second as I have plenty of such stories. Surprisingly, after two days, I got an email saying that my story was selected to get it featured on the home page of http://www.doright.in/ .

 Though I did not make it to the finals, at least I was selected. My friend asked for a celebration. He says getting selected in anything needs a celebration what ever tiny the achievement is. He is right. When I started this blog, I never thought I would stick to it even after 3 years of its commencement. I did not get much encouragement at the outset. Many discouraged me saying that I was just cut out to do the job of a copy writer and not a writer. I was a copy writer when I started this blog and after three years I am a reporter. Hence I decided I would celebrate wherever I was if I could garner 50 followers. Three years back, it seemed a distant reality. And celebrated when my followers button started showing 50.

Sadly, I forgot even to be happy when I passed the first phase of a competition launched by a prominent platform in my country. You may perceive it as trivial. But it is not.

 The happiness of success eludes you if you do not know to revel in it. What is the point if you can't derive happiness from your success? I sadly realised that I have shoved off my little pleasures which made me happy when I was striving to make a decent living to the back burner.  Sometimes you  get immersed totally in something or somebody thinking that it is epitome of your happiness. This misconception completely drifts you away from the real love or passion of your life.

Books always made me happy. But I am scared now that even they cannot bring me happiness. I feel that I am missing out a lot of beautiful things in the world. Now I am making frantic efforts to find out what makes me happier. But so far with little success.

So friends never let anyone or anything to take away your little pleasures. Because that little pleasures make your life. And allowing anybody or anyone to snatch it away means you are permitting them to destroy your life. Don't allow it.